I found “The Adventist Home”
We are in the midst of packing to move. Ugh. I do love packing, but not moving, if that makes sense. There’s something exciting about going through all the stuff and getting rid of stuff and sorting. But then, there’s all the cleaning that goes along with it. And packing + cleaning + parenting 2 littles + cooking + being a spouse does NOT equal fun times for me. 🙂
When we prepare to move, the first thing I do is pack up our books. We have a lot of them. “blush At last count, about 500 books, not including the girls’ books. So when we figured out where we were going, I gathered up boxes and packed up most of the books. I left out about 20, but two weeks ago, in a fit of cleaning frenzy, I packed those up too (and yes, after I packed up our books, I did get books from the used book store and PaperBackSwap, because that’s the way I roll ;] ).
All that to say that I packed up the Hohnberger’s book, so I haven’t written anything more on their book. But last night I decided to go through the boxes and dig out that book so that I could write some more on it. But wait! I thought. I haven’t read through The Adventist Home in awhile. Perhaps I should drench myself in truth before critiquing more parenting books.
So after about 5 minutes of digging last night, I found The Adventist Home in box # 12. Or maybe it was #7? I put it on the kitchen table so that I could grab it as we were running out of the house on a major errand this morning. And wow! So glad that I did so.
I’ve been reading tidbits to my husband and thought I’d pull out my computer and write down one of the passages that struck both of us the most this afternoon.
It’s from page 192 (f you want to look it up yourself) and originally drawn from MH 394. 😉
Let parents become acquainted with their children, seeking to understand their tastes and dispositions, entering into their feelings, and drawing out what is in their hearts.
Parents, let your children see that you love them and will do all in your power to make them happy. If you do so, your necessary restrictions will have far greater weight in their young minds.
Wow! Did you read that? Letting your kids see that you love them and you are doing what you can to make them happy gives your boundaries far greater weight than being distant and/or not working for their happiness. And happiness comes from understanding your children’s tastes, personalities and feelings.
What a call to balance this is. Not swinging permissive, not swinging punitive, but having that balance of relationship. THAT is what helps our children remember what the boundaries are.
Grace-based discipline calls us to be relationship-focused. Grace-based discipline has clear boundaries and love, lots of love. Grace-based discipline asks us to remember our children’s happiness is important. Grace-based children says to know your children for WHO they are, not who you want them to be.
Wow. What an awesome way to parent. He understands WHO we are and accepts us that way. God sends the good things of life on the just and unjust. He doesn’t withhold the rain from the unjust. He doesn’t send rainbows to only the just. He loves each and every one of us and seeks for our happiness within His boundaries. Can I do any less for the wee ones He placed into our family?