Breaking Away from the Shoulds
It’s 11:35 on a Sunday morning, and Light just nursed down for her nap. I was rather shocked, as usually she’s been going to sleep between 1 and 2 p.m. for her long nap. But no, she crawled and walked her way over to me a little bit ago. I put her on the bed as I was dressing and she was starting making her mi-mi (nursing) needs known. So I put her on my lap and latched her on. In a few minutes, she was OUT.
It just really struck me how different I am with Light than I was with Sweetness. With her, the whole first year of her life was spent in the Land of Should. She should be sleeping now. She should be gaining X amount of weight. She should know better than to try to skip her nap. She should sleep with the lights off, curtains drawn and fan on. She Should…Well, you get the picture.
As Sweetness kept on proving to me over and over that she was aware her body’s need, and as she showed me the ways I could help her, I slowly started withdrawing my citizenship from the Land of Should. It’s been rather freeing, actually.
I don’t have to worry about “creating a bad habit” when Light nurses to sleep, because I think she Should be able to self-soothe. Instead, I just enjoy the time and appreciate having a fast-working sleep tool.
I don’t worry about how much sleep she Should be getting. Instead, I realize that as long as I keep an eye on her, she’ll let me know when she’s tired and wants to sleep. She’s very good at that! Brilliant, you might even say. 🙂
Sweetness Should be fully potty-trained by now, I’ve been told by other citizens in the Land of Should. But she’s not. And she’ll let me know when it clicks.
I get caught up in the Land of Should when I let expectations outweigh realities. It’s really quite a frustrating place to live though.
Reality is proving a much nicer place to live in, every day that passes.